IMPULSIVE Review of Awful “Bouncedown” App

The #1 Top Downloaded Free application in the Apple Store is “Bouncedown,” and I wish that this fact had not inspired me to acquire the horrid game for this piece. There could be prejudice here, as the player testing the “Bouncedown” App is absolutely awful at the simple, but clunky game for the iPhone’s touch […]

“WHAC-A-MOLE: Whacky Xmas” App Review

As the snow drifts reach five feet standing, the carolers remain horribly out of tune and the line at the post office wraps around the building as if it were a bright green gift box, there are still things about the holiday season meant to cheer people up: “WHAC-A-MOLE!” In the St. Nick of time, […]

Find Anything with “bing” the App? An IMPULSIVE Review

Just say, “New York City,” and a “Google Maps” look-a-like map with directions will show up on the iPhone screen. The “bing” App is a free organized information provider, from Microsoft, with a fun voice feature. For the Long Island bagel connoisseurs out there simply say, “bagels.” All of the local bagel shops, that are […]

Adult swim presents the “Amateur Surgeon Christmas Edition” App

A mid-air collision results in a reindeer being sucked into Dr. Alan Probe’s private jet’s engine, causing a bloody mess at the North Pole! The surgeon’s services are needed to scalpel his way to Santa, or else there will be no Christmas! The ingenious makers at the adult swim games division have come up with […]

Avoid the Car Crash Play With the “Traffic Rush” App

The trick is that the busy traffic moves at different speeds, and quite like New York drivers, the vehicle drivers in the game are completely inconsiderate toward one another, and will not slow down even if it means running someone off of the road.

“KickMap” App Makes the New York City Subway Trains Catchable

Let’s hypothetically say that the subway is a dank underground dungeon housing miles of impregnable track that one must follow amidst confusing labyrinths, which lie beneath the concrete castles of New York City, in order to get anywhere. Well that’s New York, and its useful, necessary and intricate underground train system, the subway, is a […]

Moo an IMPULSIVE REVIEW of “Cows in Space” App

“In a failed galactic operation, the cows of earth have ended up floating around in space!” The “Cows in Space” App is free for a limited time! Somehow the U.S. government has accidentally fired and lost all of the earth’s cows; the source of tasty burgers and filet mignon steaks are all encapsulated in oxygen […]

The “50 cent ‘Baby By Me’ sound lab” App Needs to Return to the Lab

The current number nine in the “Top Downloaded” free applications list from the App Store is “50 cent ‘Baby By Me’ sound lab,” and it is the worst thing Apple has ever approved! Though it may appear harmless, or possibly even potentially entertaining to fans of the rap star, 50 cent, there can be no […]

IMPULSIVE REVIEW of Star Wars “Lightsaber” App

“No Luke…I am your father,” said Darth Vader to the distraught and hysterical Luke Skywalker. How did they get to this point? Well with a bloody good, kick-ass Lightsaber battle, of course! Free from the Apple Store is the Star Wars “Lightsaber” application. Boot up the epic program and pick from Darth Vader, the evil […]

IMPULSIVE REVIEW of “Seafood Watch” Application

“I’ll have the…no that fish is poisonous…wait that one is endangered,” said the knowledgeable seafood customer. The waiter was most impressed with the respectful way in which the seafood connoisseur conducted business, and the result was that the customer enjoyed the succulent Caribbean spiny lobster, that had been flown in from Florida. If seafood is […]