Apple’s “October Surprise” LEAKED – BEHOLD the “iTablitron 2000″

Apple Gazette has learned from an unconfirmed source (with absolutely no credibility) what the future holds for Apple at the October 14th event.

The “October Surprise” device will be an 8.5 x 11 unit with an HD display and multi-touch technology built right into the glass surface. It will be as thin as a piece of paper and feature remote wireless charging (which can be activated through mere thought alone with the purchase of the “iThink” accessory headband), a full qwerty on screen keyboard, iSmell sniffing technology, and the ability to make sandwiches customized to your liking through the brand new “iSandwich” application which will be a part of “iLife ’09″.

“Sandwich making has never seemed so possible.” Our source reports. “All you have to do is select your bread, choice of meats and cheese, and condiments and accessories. You click order, and Apple ships it to you in the mail like a photo book in 3 to 6 weeks. Awesome”

Our lonely and depressed informant even managed to snap a picture of the amazing new device (although, admittedly it is a bit far a way, and slightly blurry – still, if you have eyes in your head you can CLEARLY make it out in the image below).

Our source further indicates that the name of the device is the “iTablitron 2000″, and it will come in two models – the 32 GB model will run a shockingly cheap $29.37, while the heftier 64 GB version will cost you $43 and a hay penny.

Sure the sources are unconfirmed – sure they have no credibility – but this is just a blog right? Who needs to confirm sources and verify facts. That is SOOO “old media”.

Comments

  1. Er … Drunk?

  2. I congratulate you Good Sir in your success at infiltrating the highest echelons of Apple.

    Those cads at those so called Apple Rumour sites clearly know nothing. They shall be forced to close and henceforth look to you for all Apple related news.

    I fully intend to be first in line at my local Apple emporium on launch day.

  3. Rick O'Neil says:

    Brilliant commentary…
    Journalists used to be bound by ethics and integrity… not any more.
    “who cares if it’s true, as long as we can sell advertising.”

  4. HOT HOT HOT

    I CANT WAIT…FINALLY SOMETHING FROM APPLE I CAN AFFORD RIGHT OUT OF THE GATE…

    I WILL BE HOLDING MY BREATH AND WAITING ON PINS AND NEEDLES…

    THANKS FOR THE INFO…I MUST GO WAIT IN LINE AT MY APPLE STORE…CANT LET ANYONE BEAT ME TO THE GATE…

    PEACE AND LOVE
    MACS ROCK DUDE

  5. Kevin Smith says:

    I want one!

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