In many churches and throughout the faith-based community, people learn quickly what to do with their pain. They do not bring it into the light. Instead, they manage it, spiritualize it, tuck it behind a polite smile, and quietly hope no one looks too closely.

The Reverend Tom Simmons has spent years pushing against that instinct.

Since 2002, Simmons has led St. Peter’s Episcopal Church in Purcellville, Virginia, building a ministry willing to step into the trenches with people, offering more than pastoral care by walking alongside them through the valleys of real life.

“People’s problems are often like a lizard’s shadow cast onto the wall of a cave,” Simmons said. “That wee reptile can appear like a fearsome dragon. But when we bring it out of the cave into the light of day, we see it’s much more manageable. That’s my philosophy in dealing with my own problems and helping others deal with theirs.”

That image captures the heart of his leadership. Simmons believes the Church is at its strongest not when it teaches people how to appear put together, but when it helps them tell the truth about what is hurting them and brings that truth before God and trusted people.

In his view, some of the deepest pressures bearing down on families today include anger, shame, mental health strain, addiction, overcommitment, and the unresolved wounds people carry from the past. Hidden, those burdens rarely shrink. More often, they deepen.

For Simmons, this is not a modern detour from the Christian story. It is part of its center. He points to the way Jesus consistently moved toward people in their pain rather than away from it, addressing fear, exposing hypocrisy, naming brokenness, and restoring people in ways that remain strikingly relevant today. He sees the same honesty in the Apostle Paul, whose letters did not avoid conflict or weakness, but brought them into the open so healing could begin.

That framework shapes how Simmons leads. Faith, in his ministry, is not a performance of strength. It is the daily work of learning how to live truthfully before God and one another.

Reverend Tom Simmons: ‘Our Family Relationships Are Often Where God’s Grace And Truth Are First’

Long before Simmons became known for his transparent leadership, his life was shaped by very different environments.

He studied at Westminster Seminary, earned a master’s in Christian education from Virginia Seminary, and later completed a doctor of ministry in preaching at Gordon-Conwell, where he studied under the late Haddon Robinson, one of the most respected voices in expository preaching. Before that, he had served as an Army infantryman and worked on Capitol Hill, experiences that formed in him a mix of discipline, realism, and public-minded leadership that still shows up in the way he ministers today.

There is a practicality to Simmons that stands out. He enjoys woodworking, building things that are both beautiful and useful, a detail that mirrors the way he approaches ministry itself. He is not interested in abstract faith detached from real life. He is interested in helping people build something lasting.

For Simmons, that work begins in the family.

“Our family relationships are often where God’s grace and truth are first and vividly experienced, or not,” he said. “So I have sought to equip husbands and wives, parents and grandparents and kids of all ages to believe Jesus, follow Jesus, and share Jesus with the people in their lives.”

He returns to that idea often, that faith must show up in the relationships that matter most. It must be present in marriages, in parenting, in conflict, in disappointment, in the everyday tensions that define a household.

Simmons believes many families are carrying more than they realize. Emotional turbulence, fear, shame, and the pressures of a culture that fragments attention and identity all contribute to strain within the home. In his view, what the church sometimes misses is not the theology, but the application. Too many people are taught how to appear strong instead of how to become whole.

“Jesus helps each of us love and serve others,” he said. “That is the secret sauce that strengthens marriages, improves parenting, and brings siblings together, and the generations too.”

That conviction is not theoretical. It is rooted in his own life.

At one point, Simmons faced a prolonged struggle with anger, one that forced him into a difficult season of self-examination. Through counseling, training, and sustained effort, he worked through the patterns and triggers that had shaped his responses. Over time, that experience became something he could offer to others, first through teaching, then through one-on-one coaching.

It also reshaped how he leads.

Simmons does not lead from a pedestal. He leads from experience, modeling what it looks like to face difficulty honestly and to pursue healing with intention.

Reviving The Acts 2 Church In A Modern World

The Rev. Tom Simmons believes the church was never meant to be confined to four walls. The call of the Gospel has always been outward-facing, not merely to gather, but to go. It is a vision rooted in the Book of Acts, where the early church moved into the world with courage and compassion, carrying both truth and care into the lives of others.

At St. Peter’s, that vision has taken tangible form.

The church has helped launch and support ministries such as Mosaic, a crisis pregnancy center that has expanded across Northern Virginia, and Tree of Life, which began as a food pantry and has grown into a multifaceted outreach providing job counseling, family support, housing assistance, and community meals. Members of St. Peter’s continue to serve in these efforts at every level, integrating outreach into the fabric of the church’s identity.

“People from St. Peter’s were involved in the founding of these organizations, and continue to serve as senior staff and volunteers at all levels,” Simmons said. “They are integral partners to the ministry of St. Peter’s.”

That outward focus also shapes one of the church’s most enduring ministries, its marriage mentor program. For more than two decades, trained mentor couples have walked alongside engaged and married couples, helping them navigate conversations about communication, expectations, and the realities of building a life together.

“One of the ministries I am most proud of here at St. Peter’s is our Marriage Mentor couples,” Simmons said. “We’ve had many dozens of couples prepare with our mentor couples over the years, and many others have worked with Marriage Mentors to enrich their relationship.”

Simmons says these efforts are not separate from spiritual formation. They are expressions of it. Strengthening marriages strengthens families. Strengthening families strengthens communities.

A Future Rooted In Hope

The Rev. Tom Simmons looks forward to what God and he believes greater days are ahead.

In 2026, St. Peter’s plans to expand its global outreach in Liberia, working with long-standing partners to train leaders and establish new Bible study groups centered on a simple but profound goal, helping people know Jesus more deeply and live out that faith in their everyday lives.

“We hope to develop many new partnerships in Liberia, training leaders in the use of this material and supporting them as they use it to form new Bible study groups in outlying towns and villages,” Simmons said.

Back at home, he says teaching the Word of God will always be central to his calling.

“My core gift from the beginning of my call to ministry is teaching the Bible,” he said. “But I’ve noticed over the years that fewer people have time to participate in longer courses. Life is more crowded now.”

That shift has prompted a new direction. A forthcoming podcast will allow him to teach in a way that is more accessible and adaptable to modern rhythms, reaching people beyond traditional settings and into their everyday lives.

Connection, however, remains deeply personal. “I pray for people regularly,” he said. “And I text them when I do.” It is a small but telling detail, reflecting a consistent pattern in his leadership, staying close, staying present, and walking with people over time.

In a world marked by division, pressure, and quiet struggle, his message remains steady. “Bring what is hidden into the light,” Simmons shared. “Walk through it together, and trust that, over time, God brings healing.”