IMPULSIVE Review of Awful “Bouncedown” App


The #1 Top Downloaded Free application in the Apple Store is “Bouncedown,” and I wish that this fact had not inspired me to acquire the horrid game for this piece.
screenshot-1
There could be prejudice here, as the player testing the “Bouncedown” App is absolutely awful at the simple, but clunky game for the iPhone’s touch screen. The graphics are mediocre at best, the music gives false hope at suspense (as well as success) and the blob that pointlessly moves and bounces through the barber-shop-bars quickly dies as soon as it touches the spikes above, or the fire below.

Does it jump, or bounce on its own? No!

Confused? Well put it this way: the game controls are invisible swipes on either side of the touch screen, so if the player does actually find where touching it works, and then they proceed to thumb to the left, the blob will then move to the left. The game is counterintuitive in that it is way too tricky to realize where the thumb swipes will move the blue blob with bug-eyes a little too little, or a lot too much to the unintelligent pile’s brief demise.

The App is an endless conveyor belt of boring blocks of bars that the sad blob has to fall or bounce onto. In fact, there is very little bouncing involved in “Bouncedown” at all; only one set of the many different bars actually allows bouncing, and there is not even a bounce button or control for the player!

Grade: D-


RJ Huneke

3 Comments

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  1. Funny that you put a picture of the Browser based Bouncedown. If you make a review make it right, there are no ‘thumb swipes’ go rant about something else, and hopefully get it right this time. This game is simple, there are instructions, and if you can’t figure out left is left and right is right, you probably should not be holding an iTouch.

  2. I happen to be ambidextrous!! Seriously, I try not to hide the fact that this is a one-sided review displaying my inability to enjoy what is supposed to be an incredibly easy to use game. Sorry if it rubs you the wrong way, but “Bouncedown” in every form rubs me wrong.